One thing I feel like we don’t talk enough about in our world is mental health. It’s probably something that most of us don’t really even give a second thought. The reality is, there are so many people who struggle and deal with mental health issues on a daily basis. A lot of people you probably don’t even realize.
I don’t talk a lot about my personal life or issues on my blog, but I am going to make an exception today. I am going to get a little personal and open up a little bit about some things that have been going on in my life lately. This is me being very open and vulnerable. Many people don’t know, and it’s not something I talk about a lot, but I have started to lately. This past year has been a really hard one for me. These past couple months especially.
I have been struggling with depression for the past year. It has only been the last couple months that is has gotten a little too much for me to handle on my own anymore. I always thought there was something wrong with me, or something missing. I have been having a feeling of emptiness. Like there is a hole inside me and no amount of happiness could fill it. It is so frustrating, because I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I tried to convince myself for a long time that everything was fine, but the more I tried to convince myself, the more that hole grew. I tried to fill that hole with anything I could think of: material things, work, reading, etc…Nothing seemed to work, and that hole seemed bottomless.
I have always been the girl with the smile on her face. The one who blogged about happiness in college. I was once told that, “Sara, I don’t think you have ever had a bad day!” Yes, I have. This past year I feel like I have forgotten that happiness I use to have, and I am working really hard to getting it back.
Lately that feeling of emptiness has been almost suffocating. Like I am in a room filled with people trying to get them to hear me and I’m turned on mute. Its crushing. So much so that I have had no motivation to do anything.
It took me a long time to realize that I shouldn’t and couldn’t deal with these emotions on my own, and that I don’t know how. I have had several emotional break downs because I don’t know what to do with how I am feeling. Lately I have been talking to family and some friends who have dealt with the same things. Its been a long road to where I am now, but I am starting to accept that it is okay, and that I don’t have to do this alone.
I have been taking steps in the right direction of how to fill that hole and get back on the path of happiness. One of those steps is deciding that I want to start going to therapy. Although I haven’t started sessions I would l love someone to talk to to help me process and deal with my emotions. Many people see therapists. Healthy people see therapists! I feel like we give therapy such a bad wrap. It has such a negative connotation in my mind. That going to therapy is for people who have serious problems and issues. But in reality, it is something that all of us could benefit from.
I have also been running. Running, or physical activity, has always been a huge stress and emotion reliever for me. Even in college I would go on runs almost daily. Whether it be because of my college work load, drama with roommates, or the weight of the world; running would always help me burn off that stress and clear my head. It was the alone time I needed to get out of my head and work through everything I was going through physically.
Lately running has been my go-to. If I am feeling stressed, sad, or if the hole is too much for me to bear I grab my headphones, turn them up as loud as I can stand and drown out the world for a few minutes while I run.
Not only is running/physical activity good for your physical health, it also does wonders for your mental health. It releases endorphins that makes your body and mind feel good. I know it helps me feel better about my situation and myself. It helps pull me out of my depression and makes it so it isn’t as soul crushing. I know there are other steps I need to take to help myself, but running is one of the game changers for me. It is a staple that I have come to rely on. Although running is something that works for me, it might not work for everyone. Everyone deals with pain and depression differently. You need to find what works for you, and there are different ways to do that.
I want you to know that if you are suffering through any of these same things or emotions you aren’t alone. Even if you feel like you could be the only person who could possibly feel this low, you aren’t. And there are ways you can get help! You can turn to family and friends. You can also get help and treatment. There are so many treatment centers out there that are dedicated and wanting to help you. The Recovery Village is one of those many places. Just know that you don’t have to do this alone.
If you have any questions about how to get help or want to talk about what you are going through please send me an email. I would love to talk to you about what you are going through as well as answer any questions you have. I know I am on the beginning stages of my ‘getting help’ process, but I would love to talk to you about mental health.
Also, if you have any questions regarding me and my story please don’t hesitate to ask. You can reach me through my email:
If you are interested in listening to my running playlists that help get me out of my head you can listen to those here, or find me on Spotify.
*Thank you to The Recovery Village for sponsoring this post and helping bring light to the importance of mental health. Although this post was sponsored, everything I wrote in this blog post is true and real. I am still struggling and would never elaborate diminish the importance of mental health or the importance of getting help.