5 Pieces Of Advice & 5 Years Of Marriage.August 31, 2018
DRESS: Bohme (similar here) / Earrings: Sugarfix by BaubleBar / LIPS: Infinite Petal by Maybelline
all photos taken by: Kayley Wilson
Today is Colin and I’s 5 year anniversary! If you would have told me 5 years ago that I was going to meet a really handsome guy and be getting married 2 weeks after my 20th birthday I would have thought you were crazy! You know that saying “time flies when you’re having fun”? Well that is marriage to a T.
The past 5 years haven’t always been easy, like any marriage, but they have been so fun and so worth it. If you would like to see all the photos from our wedding day, and hear all the details of our favorite day please read my blog post from last year.
Since we have hit the first big milestone in our marriage I thought I would give you 5 pieces of advice to get you to your very own 5 year anniversary. And hopefully 50+ more years after that! Because I’m shooting for eternity.
1. Communication. Communication in a marriage, or in any relationship for that matter, is key! We found that out pretty early on. Let’ be honest, guys can’t read minds, and neither can women. So talk to your significant other. When we were first married I was a little afraid to tell Colin what I really thought about certain things. I was a wimp. I also expected him to know what I wanted and got disappointed if those things didn’t go through. I finally realized that he was never going to know what I wanted until I talked to him.
Colin and I have gotten a million times better at communicating since we were first married. We always talk about everything! It makes marriage so much more enjoyable, and I never have to question anything because we are always on the same page. Listen to your spouse. Listening is a huge part of communication. Sometimes they just need you to listen to them.
2. Keep the romance alive! When you first get married every couple goes through the “honeymoon phase.” Where you are so in love with each other and basically can’t keep your hands off of one another. After we were married couples would always tell us that the honeymoon phase would wear off and after 5-10 years you wouldn’t be nearly as affectionate. I think I was determined to prove those people wrong, because I have done everything I can to stay just as in love, if not more, than when we got married. I would say it is a success! People constantly are asking us how long we have been married because we act like newlyweds. The spark is still alive!
You want to keep the spark alive and remember why you fell in love with your significant other. You can leave little notes for them reminding them why you love them, buy lingerie every once in while to spice things up, hold hands, cuddle, and always go to bed with a kiss! Just let your significant other know you still care about them.
One of the best things we did a couple years ago was take a love language test. There are 5 different love languages and the point of the test is to see how your partner need to be loved. Because usually, unless you know your SO’s love language, you love them how you want to be loved. Once we took this test it helped us understand how the other person needs to be loved. Otherwise their needs might not be met. Mine are: physical touch and “gifts”. I love being affectionate and Colin always makes sure to shower me in hugs and kisses. I also love receiving gifts. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but I love getting notes, flowers or just a little something to know Colin is thinking of me.
3. Never talk bad about your spouse to anyone. Someone gave me this little piece of advice when we first got married and I have tried to honor this advice and my marriage by sticking to it. I know sometimes your spouse/significant other can drive you crazy and you want to vent about it, but try to keep the venting to a minimum. Once you talk bad about your spouse to someone it is going to put your spouse in a negative light. Just because they are getting on your nerves at the moment, you will probably get over it and see them with heart eyes once again.
Once you say something negative about them you can’t take it back, and I guarantee whoever you spoke to won’t forget. I have also never wanted anything like that to get back to Colin. So I have tried to keep our frustrations within our marriage, instead of bringing others into it. No marriage is perfect, and you have to work on it together.
4. Make time for each other. Colin and I both have crazy schedules. Between work, school, more work, families, and my blog, it seems like we hardly have time to spend with one another during the week. But one thing we have always done, without fail, is have a date night. I love the saying, “continue to date your spouse even after your married.” I think dating after you’re married is MORE important that dating before you’re married. It shows you are still making an effort to get to know your spouse even after you say, “I do.” Because after everything life throws at you, you change. But hopefully you change together!
At least once a week, usually on Friday’s or Saturday’s we go on a date. It gives us time to just be with one another and not have to worry about the stress of the week. As a couple you need to spend that designated time with one another. It doesn’t always have to be fancy, but it is a great way to catch up and just be together without having to worry about anything else.
One of our favorite dates is dinner and a movie. We love the movies! So we usually get popcorn, snacks and head to the theaters. We also like to try at least one new restaurant a month. Yes, we have our favorites, but it is also fun to try something new together. We also like to take turns planning dates for each other. So one person doesn’t have to do everything. It is nice to serve your significant other and do something for them. You don’t even have to go out! You could plan games at home or go for a picnic. Just plan a time to spend together.
5. Say “I’m Sorry.” Sometime’s all I want when Colin and I argue is for him to admit I’m right and for him to apologize. But after thinking about it I usually shallow my pride and say “I’m sorry.” I know this might seem like a silly piece of advice. But to me, being okay with Colin is way more important than staying mad. Life is short and I would rather be happy and spend it with him and dwell on silly little things. I like to think I am a little wiser and older after 5 years of marriage, but I still have a lot to learn and grow. Luckily he is patient with me and spoils me to death.
Happy 5 years handsome.
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